The Difference Between Self Love And A Strong Ego

Jan 29, 2023Self-Care & Healing

The Difference Between Self Love And A Strong Ego

Jan 29, 2023Self-Care & Healing

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Learning to love yourself is the best gift you can ever give yourself. It is the key to unlocking your full potential and to living a truly fulfilled life🗝️

Before you can truly love yourself, it is vital to know the difference between real self love and a fake sense of self-esteem driven by the ego. The two are often mistaken, but they are two completely different things!

What Is Self Love?

Self love is the type of love that will always be with you, no matter the circumstances. Self love does not depend on external factors such as your relationships with others, your possessions, or your achievements.

Here is the thing: no other creature can ever be expected to be responsible for your happiness. You (and only you) are responsible for your own happiness and your own life.

Only once you learn to source all the happiness you need from inside yourself (and you can!), and choose love over fear, you will be able to be fully happy in life and unconditionally love others (in the same way you love yourself) 🤍

This will open many doors for you, because I promise, it will fill your heart with a sense of joy and connection that you have not felt before..!

Realize that, if you are being kind to others only because you want them to respect and love you, it comes from a place of need, rather than a place of unconditional love for yourself and the other person.

Until you truly love yourself, and feel how you are connected to everything and everyone around you, all love for others will be conditional and dependent on certain expectations.

👉 Decide right here and right now that you are NOT a victim and you have everything you need to be happy. That is your first act of self love 🤗

Examples Of Self Love

These are some examples of self love:

You speak to yourself in a kind way
You are in tune with your body and give it the rest, nourishment, exercise and care that it needs
You love all aspects of yourself
You have forgiven yourself for any ‘mistakes’ you have made in the past
You are led by your intuition and inner knowing to decide where you focus your energy
You go after what you intrinsically want, instead of what society expects of you
You take responsibility for your own life without feeling as if the world owes you something
You make decisions that will benefit your life in the long term (instead of going for what feels good in the moment)
You are not looking for validation or permission from other people
You speak from a place of authenticity
You feel good being alone without feeling the need to distract your mind
Your honor your own needs and are mindful of your energy

>> Find some practical steps here: 14 steps to Self Love that actually work 🤍

What Is The Ego?

The ego is a mask, a protective mechanism ruled by your mind. It often shows up in behavioral patterns in the form of a fake sense of self-esteem, or a carelessness for the feelings of others.

From the moment we are born, we start to experience things that hurt us. Everytime we feel hurt, we add a thin layer to the wall we build around us. This way, the ego grows with us into our own personal bodyguard that is always there to protect our tender heart at all cost.

The ego’s job is to keep you safe and secure in life. As a consequence, it also keeps you from fully opening your heart and loving yourself and others unconditionally. All this to safe you from the pain of getting hurt (again) 💔

The ego is that voice that keeps you from taking that one big risk, from quitting your job, from going on that trip, and from getting out of your comfort zone in any way, shape or form. It will remind you of all the terrible things that could possibly happen if you do..

Of course, this has its function! If you would just blindly jump into anything, things might not end too well for you, but it can also become very limiting when the ego slowly overtakes your persona and becomes the main driver of all the actions that you take.

You may think, isn’t it great, your own personal bodyguard that always has your back? So it may seem, but it is also keeping you stuck.. 👇

The Head vs The Heart

The ego rules the head, or the rational mind, while self love comes from the heart, from your connection with your inner self.

The ego can strive for external validation through obtaining wealth, possessions, popularity, success (as per society’s terms). Basically approval from the ´tribe´. This can lead to obtaining a sense of self-worth through how others perceive you, and through comparing yourself to others.

👉 The ego is fooling you into thinking that you are better than others because you have the better house/job/car/partner/education/…, but if you would lose it all, or others would not appreciate it, the ego would crumble, together with your so-called self-esteem.

Ask yourself this: If I would lose everything I have, would I still value myself the same? If the honest answer is yes, that is an indication you can truly love yourself from the heart 🤍

You see how real self love is way more profound and unconditional than having a strong ego charging our sense of self-esteem?

The ego (the rational mind) is surely an important part of us, but it should not be leading. Our true compass is our heart (our intuition). This quote says it very well:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
– Albert Einstein

Examples Of A Strong Ego

These are some examples of what it means to be driven by the ego:

You are focused on possessions, status and care a lot about how other people perceive you
You are constantly comparing yourself to others
You are thinking that you are better than others and are trying to show how you are better than others. Life is a competition.
You talk negatively about other people and their achievements
You are kind to others because you want them to love you/appreciate you
You do things that others except of you, while it is not really what you feel like doing
You worry what other people think of you
You are taking decisions from a place of fear rather than a place of love
You do not speak from a place of authenticity
You do not speak from a place of love
You easily get triggered when someone makes a bad remark about you
You take most things personal
You don’t step out of your comfort zone because your are worried what other people may think

The Journey From The Head To The Heart

In life, you may obtain all the things that you thought you ever needed, but if your needs were driven by the ego (or by external expectations), your achievements will undoubtedly lead to an empty feeling at some point. In many cases, we need to reach this point first, before we realize that the ego has some sincere limitations.

To live life to your fullest potential, you will eventually need to open your heart. This is the journey we all need to strive toward in our lives: the journey from the head to the heart. It is the longest journey of them all, but I promise you, it is a journey 100% worth making!

However simple this may sound, it is not that simpel, because it is not a rational process. It takes the willingness to switch off the mind and to get in touch with your intuition and facing your pain from the past.

It takes real courage to face your fears and to be vulnerable, but once you do, the rewards will be greater than you can ever imagine! (👉 check out this book about the power of vulnerability, it’s great!)

To get inspired about the meaning of this journey of a lifetime, watch this amazing movie The Power of the Heart on Gaia. A story that can truly show you the power of the heart: